Dr Edwards book truly has been the catalyst to change in my life It helped me understand the deep why I was feeling the way I felt Why I was anxious and seeking perfectionism Dealing with perfectionism and the other spokes of the wheel that make up the PCS constellation, she beautifully and gently teaches about the pain we feel and why we go on protecting ourselves.I love how she tells story after story of others who have faced the dynamics as well She connects the dots for you.As I conti Dr Edwards book truly has been the catalyst to change in my life It helped me understand the deep why I was feeling the way I felt Why I was anxious and seeking perfectionism Dealing with perfectionism and the other spokes of the wheel that make up the PCS constellation, she beautifully and gently teaches about the pain we feel and why we go on protecting ourselves.I love how she tells story after story of others who have faced the dynamics as well She connects the dots for you.As I continue to heal from within I amaware after reading her book I am gaining peace of who I am I couldn t believe someone who never met me would know me in such a way that while reading it I thought, THIS is how I feel If you are seeking healing, it s a must read Hoping it can get printed in books not just e reading This book is Awesome A must read I never thought of myself as a perfectionist until a friend pointed out to me that I was spending way too much time preparing my Power Points for my presentations at work I m usually up till 2 in the morning doing these Power Points, trying to get every little detail perfect But I just thought that was normal.My friend asked me Why are you always so tired And when I told him he said That is waaay too much that you re doing, man Way too much I thought abo This book is Awesome A must read I never thought of myself as a perfectionist until a friend pointed out to me that I was spending way too much time preparing my Power Points for my presentations at work I m usually up till 2 in the morning doing these Power Points, trying to get every little detail perfect But I just thought that was normal.My friend asked me Why are you always so tired And when I told him he said That is waaay too much that you re doing, man Way too much I thought about what he said a lot, and then I did a google search for perfectionism and I found this book of Edwards It surprised me, once I started to reading it, that she wasn t only talking about perfectionism, but instead, all these other issues too all things that really were going on with me I am someone who worries that I m not meeting others needs, but it makes me feel ashamed if I ask for my own needs to be met, so I never do I fear disappointing people like my boss That s why I would stay up so late but I never thought of it in those terms before I figured you should just really try hard not to disappoint anyone I also try to avoid noticing when people I really love are disappointing, themselves I do have a lot of shame, even though I m a nice person and I haven t really done anything wrong And I always want to be in control of things I m kind of a back seat driver even though I never wanted to think of myself that way, but it drives my friends and my girlfriend up the wall when I do that, so I guess I do.What s funny though is that it never occurred to me that these were problems, you know I was so used to being this way, and it just seemed normal to me.But it all started with my friend saying I was not getting enough sleep because of trying to get things perfect for my boss, and now that I am reading this book over and over again, I am noticing how muchfreedom I could have in my life, if I just let go a little bit I am keeping myself under control all the time, I just never realized it before So it s incredible the way Edwards knew this that all these things really do go together And she s right, because each new chapter I get to, once again she s talking directly to me.What I ve noticed since I started working with this book is when I find myself wanting to step in and take over someone else s job, I can sort of tell myself These details don t really matter that much, do they And take a step back It feels like I just took a vacation When I am doing a Power Point, I put what is most important and then move on, instead of searching the internet for hours to find just the exact right picture to illustrate a point.And in my relationship I am letting my girlfriend do things for me now, instead of just always doing things for her the whole time It actually feels much better this way because we rebalanced now, and I m sure she appreciates the change It couldn t have been too great being her, before.Also you know what I m getting enough sleep now LOL.I can tell it will be a long road till this just all feels natural, but it s funny because I already notice that I feelfreedom So I really recommend this book Have an enjoyable time if you give it a try It s worth it Peace out Fear of the Abyss, by Aleta Edwards, is the first book I have read that helped me to heal I m used to reading books that offer to help with problems Maybe you have OCD, and you are reading a book that suggests how to reduce your obsessive tendencies Key word reduce Or maybe you are depressed and the book tries to cheer you up.I wound up reading this book because of its title I knew I had issues with perfectionism and shame So I was very surprised when I started reading the book, and disc Fear of the Abyss, by Aleta Edwards, is the first book I have read that helped me to heal I m used to reading books that offer to help with problems Maybe you have OCD, and you are reading a book that suggests how to reduce your obsessive tendencies Key word reduce Or maybe you are depressed and the book tries to cheer you up.I wound up reading this book because of its title I knew I had issues with perfectionism and shame So I was very surprised when I started reading the book, and discovered that I had issues with all of the topics explored in the book In other words, Dr Edwards created a book for people just like me And when I think of my family members and friends, we re all this kind of person Practically everyone I know is always worried about what other people are going to think of them, or trying to make sure they get every little detail perfect, or they re trying to control things, or they re focusing upon getting other people to need them, but they don t want to show that they need others too There are so many different nooks and crannies that Dr Edwards talks about here, but she shows how they are not separate problems They all go back to the same source, inside.It s one of those books that you don t just read, and then forget about I find myself thinking about this book every day I go back and read parts of it over and over again And I keep using the exercises at the end of each chapter, so I can really work on healing from these things.I am doing better already It s not like everything wrong with me is totally fixed, but see, that s just my perfectionism talking, even wanting it to be fixed, LOL But the book is teaching me to accept myself for who I am, and I am noticing that things kind of soften up when you give them this sort of attention You get to know yourself better, and when you really know yourself better, you aren t there judging yourself over every little thing You can laugh about stuff and not take yourself so seriously.Give this book a try if you have been trying to find something helpful and have never landed upon the right thing I ve never read another book like it but now I don t have to I don t live in Tampa like Dr Edwards does, but I sure wish I did, so I could go to her for therapy At the same time I feel like i know her already, and I sure feel like she knows me If you can relate to what I m talking about here, I think you ll have the same experience reading her book.Enjoy This is an incredible book that allows the reader to acquire deep insight I have read a number of books on the topic, and this is the absolute best The author has a clear, easily understood writing style, and not only does she explain the issues, but offers comprehensive solutions I purchased several books which I gave as Christmas gifts I am looking forward to Dr Edwards next book I read this book just recently after listening to this author speak on SOTT s internet radio show I listened because I really like the hosts and I always like their interviews and discussions, as they re so thought provoking But that week s show was different for me from the others I found I couldn t approach the topic only from my own curiosity as is my custom it ceased to be a purely intellectual endeavor for me As a listener, I felt strangely pegged, and had an almost spooky sense that t I read this book just recently after listening to this author speak on SOTT s internet radio show I listened because I really like the hosts and I always like their interviews and discussions, as they re so thought provoking But that week s show was different for me from the others I found I couldn t approach the topic only from my own curiosity as is my custom it ceased to be a purely intellectual endeavor for me As a listener, I felt strangely pegged, and had an almost spooky sense that the author knew me as I became wrapped up in the discussion Her topic in this book, of perfectionism, shame and control all relating to a wounded core pertains to my own feelings so much I feel she touched on issues in her discussion I d not regarded through such an acutely sensitive lens in the past I never liked these things about myself, but I never asked myself where these things came from, or why I felt the way I did.That next week I reflected on the author s discussion with the show s hosts repeatedly, and so much of what they d explored together went on replaying in my mind While I felt drawn to purchase the book, I wondered if it would actually be able to help me I had tried other approaches in the past, including bouts of entering into therapy myself, and had never found anything close to relief Finally I decided to purchase her book, and I felt evenof a sense of having been understood than I had done from listening to her speak I have a feeling that this will only grow with time, and that somehow I ve embarked on a journey that will lead to such changes for me, that I might always look back upon that fated internet radio show as a catalyst for change in my life.I read the book straight through this first time, but I plan to go back and re read itslowly now, and engage myselffully in the exercises The first time, I read the exercises at the end of each chapter, but I did not yet feel ready to attempt to do these exercises I know why, I know I felt afraid to look within But now that I ve gone through the whole book and I see that there is nothing to fear at all, I know I am ready for this The author really helped me to notice that what I think I am afraid of, I am never even going to meet And now it is safe to embark on whatever changes I would like to make in my life.I recommend this book and I hope others are able to find it as I did It is a rare read Apparently, all you need is self awareness to overcome the depression and anxiety in your life to change the Abyss Throughout the book, the author reiterates over and over how she hopes this book helps the reader, like it is a god send or something Anything but The exercises she gives are complex and requires serious thought which sometimes is clear enough, but some of the exercises are not so straightforward It would have helped greatly if she gave an example of an answer in real language, Apparently, all you need is self awareness to overcome the depression and anxiety in your life to change the Abyss Throughout the book, the author reiterates over and over how she hopes this book helps the reader, like it is a god send or something Anything but The exercises she gives are complex and requires serious thought which sometimes is clear enough, but some of the exercises are not so straightforward It would have helped greatly if she gave an example of an answer in real language, rather than clinical talk The book did help me in some areas and I have written about it in a letter to my therapist.The clients she uses are all success stories I understand that to sell a book, you want the positives but a couple of negatives might have been useful It just creates a hope that might not be there for all people with mental illness The book focuses just on anxiety and depression being the core of the problems that are trying to tell the client what is going on The real what is at the heart of the matter I like that the author treats the whole person and throws away the diagnostic label to treat the person I wishclinicians would do that Overall, I really liked the book except for the last chapter I felt that the ending was a bit unrealistic to someone not in therapy or has a therapist that is notopen minded I also didn t like when she referred back to a client but didn t use his her name It made it confusing to try and remember who she was talking about Fear of the Abyss is the only book of its kind Rather than focusing on diagnoses, this book helps the reader to discover the root causes of a constellation of personality traits from which many decent, conscientious people suffer.Perfectionism, control, and shame, are issues that many people who enter psychotherapy are struggling with These are people who value other people s feelings, who try to do best by others, and who may at times neglect what is best for them They find themselves stru Fear of the Abyss is the only book of its kind Rather than focusing on diagnoses, this book helps the reader to discover the root causes of a constellation of personality traits from which many decent, conscientious people suffer.Perfectionism, control, and shame, are issues that many people who enter psychotherapy are struggling with These are people who value other people s feelings, who try to do best by others, and who may at times neglect what is best for them They find themselves struggling with a need to do things perfectly, which can make it difficult to move forward Procrastination may then plague them Their need for control can interfere in their personal life, or even in their alone time And issues of shame can make enjoying life seem incredibly difficult.Dr Edwards has great empathy, and that shines from the page from the very beginning of this book She describes these feelings with such clarity, readers will feel she knows them, personally Sometimes, with shame, we can even feel ashamed to have issues From the beginning, this book helps the reader to feel less shame around issues, andself love and understanding As the reader grows to understand where these feelings come from, the new awareness encourages them to persevere.Dr Edwards not only explains these issues, she provides exercises for the reader, geared toward strengthening each reader s own self understanding The further one reads, the greater self empathy the reader develops Suddenly, rather than feeling critical for issues that developed as means of coping with pain, the reader instead comes to see how and why they feel as they do Taking away the element of shame, and replacing it with self love and even sympathy, allows the reader to grow in courage and peace.I practice individual and group psychotherapy, and many of my clients face the issues described in this book I recommend this book to my clients, and as it as a tool for helping us through the therapeutic process Individuals who are not yet prepared to engage in a formal therapy will still benefit, and may find such a degree of relief that they may soon hunger to further gain in insight.In our culture, perfectionism and control are encouraged to some extent, and we may feel pressured to excel, to perform above and beyond expectations There is also pressure to be superior to others Many are left feeling lonely, and wishing they could feel comfortable being good enough Often, even when trying their very best, individuals feel they are disappointing loved ones Sadly, we find that the very people who are the most concerned with other people s feelings, are the ones who worry they are disappointing them Walking through this journey with Dr Edwards, such individuals will feel they are not alone They can take comfort in knowing that they are already very valuable human beings, and there is much they can do to lessen feelings of anxiety and pain.This book does what other books have not done It groups together a constellation of personality traits that are commonly found in our fast paced, pressured culture Even people raised in decent, well meaning families struggle with these issues It is not necessary to feel plagued by these anxieties and stressors it is possible to overcome them.This book offers each person the potential for real healing, not merely coping mechanisms As a result, life gains meaning, and relationships take on new, unexpected dimensions Readers will find new freedom in being able to, finally, behave like their true, authentic self.Join Dr Edwards in this easy to read self exploration, and may you find peace on your journey Most self help or personal growth books help people cope better with one specific problem that troubles them While everyone needs coping skills, they are temporary aids that do not increase one s self awareness and understanding, as they do not address the root cause of the problem In focusing on a specific problem or trait, they also fail to recognize that this trait is part of a wider constellation of interlocking issues Self help books of a spiritual bent emphasize awareness, but do not show people how to get beyond their defenses to become truly self aware Still other books focus on a diagnostic label, such as Panic Disorder or Depression, but do not consider the type of person with these labels and their cause Fear of the Abyss offers healing for a wounded core by providing specific guidance to those with the core issues of perfectionism and shame, regardless of which issues or diagnoses are on the surface, helping them to let go of that which is defensive or inauthentic People like these fear facing emotional wounds, and develop their traits to defend against them The title derives from what they fear on the deepest level being like a dreaded other, often an abusive parent, or being the way a parent made them feel as a young child Their fears have intense, varied associations, affecting their everyday lives and relationships By following the path to their wounded core, readers will develop greater self awareness, which is the cure for the broader spectrum of issues Fear of the Abyss takes complex ideas and makes them accessible to the layperson It includes exercises designed to gradually and gently guide the reader into depth and insight, as the readiness develops It contains clinical vignettes to illustrate each chapter s main points and to share with readers the healing process of others