Dirk is back for tired, formulaic action, and this time he may or may not be derpier than ever Lady Love has sunk her cruel talons into the kids at Jermimaville Elementary School, and Dirk is no exception Will he acquire what it takes to find love Will he finally learn exactly what love is Will he win his crush s affections at The Big Valentine s Day Dance Spoiler alert He won t DISCLAIMER THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY A CHILDREN S BOOK CHILDREN WHO READ THIS BOOK WILL BECOME CONFUSED AND OR CRY